12. Perfectly Clear

By the time they left the “adult” store, Tony’s face would hurt from too much laughter.  His wife was ridiculously easy to embarrass, and he was having a hell of a time doing just that.  One little smack on the ass with a riding crop and her face was as red as a baboon’s butt.  Asking her which handcuffs she preferred resulted in her abandoning him for the tamer lotions and potions area of the store.

That worked for all of a minute, until he sidled up and asked whether cherry or chocolate would taste better on his dick.  The immediately follow up to that was how he thought maybe the whipped cream might be a nice addition to her pie. 

Eventually, enough was enough for the feisty Southerner.  Lilah squared her shoulders, tiled her chin and stared him dead in the eye.  “Keep it up and you’re going to need a lifetime supply of pocket pussies.” 

He’d laughed so loud that people around them turned to look. 

“You ‘bout done?” she asked cheekily, obviously quite pleased with herself. 

“No, but I’ll try and restrain myself,” Tony compromised with a wink.  “A little.” 

Her ponytail swished with the exasperated shake of her head, but she was still sporting a grin.

“Okay, Bluegrass.  Seriously.  Is there anything in particular you want to look at?  Leather, chains, feathers, costumes?  Butt plugs, vibrators, dildos, trapezes?”

Her cheeks went a shade darker, but she put on her brave face.  “I just wanna look.”

And she did. 

They strolled through the inflatable penises, the vast selection of “self-pleasure devices”, including those that would open all of a woman’s doors at once.  Tony maintained incredible self-restraint and kept his mouth shut, mostly because it was more fun listening to her murmuring “oh my word” and “you’ve got to be kidding”, and watching her try and be inconspicuous about the things that interested her. 

“You want one?” he asked as she nonchalantly went past the same display for a third time, pretending not to stare at the merchandise.

“What?”  Her head came up and she was the picture of innocence.  “You mean these?”

He just chuckled to himself and let her play her game.  “Yeah, those.”

She reached out to pick up the clear plastic package that had captured her interest and flipped it over to look at the back.  There wasn’t anything there of importance, so she went back to the front and he could see that it was a set of duo-tone balls. 

“I… might.”  She chewed on her lip indecisively before looking to Tony.  “You know anything about these?”

“Baby, I was twenty years old when Jon hit it big.  I’ve spent most of my adult life on tour, which means I know something about everything in this store.”

Big eyes blinked up at him, a hodgepodge of thoughts ricocheting around in their depths.  He’d meant it to be kind of funny, but when she did nothing more than look at him, he feared that what he’d really done was stick his foot in his mouth. 

“What do you wanna know?” he pushed on, hoping like hell he was wrong.

“Mm.”  She held onto the package that held two good-sized metallic purple ball,s and moved to the adjacent display.  “The list of things I want to know right now is too long to get into.”

“Why don’t you give me the high points,” he requested, coming to stand close behind her. 

She cast a sideways glance at him over her shoulder.  “Duo-tone balls, why I can remember the first time you called me baby but not the last, and why you thought that tour comment was helpful since you’re gettin’ ready to go on another.”

                                                                                                           

Yeah, you definitely stuck your foot in your mouth.

The minefield was restocked and open for business.  Tony knew he’d do well to tread carefully and, to that end, he selected the least confrontational of the things she had listed.

“The balls, uh…  They’re a ball inside a ball, kinda.  You put ‘em up inside you and, when you move, they bounce around and vibrate against your womb.  Internal foreplay.”

“Thank you.”  Lilah plucked up another package, this one a big vibrator with a second stimulating extension on it.  “Did you get what Matt wanted?  Because I’m ready to go whenever you are.”

On the outside he remained casual, but on the inside he sighed.  “Matt can get his own.  Let’s go.” 

They went to the counter to pay for her purchases, where the cashier was a young guy who was twenty-five at the most.  His nametag read Justin and he greeted them both with a friendly nod before taking Lilah’s items. 

“I’m sorry,” she apologized to the clerk and leaned toward him.  “Would you mind if I took a look at your tattoo?”

“Nah.”  The kid smiled and offered his left hand for her inspection. 

Wondering what had caught her attention, Tony leaned in to take a peek himself.  What he found was that Justin had ink on the ring finger of his left hand – a wedding ring of sorts – with “Chelsea” scripted into it. 

“That’s very nice,” she admired, offering him a smile.  “I’m sure Chelsea appreciates your extra show of commitment.” 

“Thanks.”  The kid was grinning like a proud papa.  “We got matching tattoos when we got married last month.”

They’re idiots.

The rest of the purchase was uneventful, except for the fact that Justin was required to test the vibrator and make sure it was in working order before leaving the store.  He got it turned on just fine, but Lilah had to quietly instruct him on how to turn it off.  It was priceless.

“So...”  Tony put the key in ignition without starting the car and looked at his wife.  “We gonna talk about this now or later?”

“Mm.”  She turned to put the plain brown bag in the back seat.  “What did you think about his tattoo?”

Cue the convenient change of subject.

Tony shrugged and casually remarked, “I think he’s an idiot.  Inking your wife’s name on you is just begging for a divorce.”

“Why’s that?”

“That’s what always happens.  Ask Richie.”  Richie Sambora, the eternal romantic, who had his wife’s name engraved on his bicep.  One ugly ass divorce later, Heather’s name was now a patch of roses and, seeing as Lilah had been a Richie girl, she knew it as well as Tony did.

His wife frowned thoughtfully.  “I sort of thought the wedding ring tattoo implied a more permanent commitment.  You can turn it into a patch of roses, but you still have a permanent ring.”

“Why are we talking about the porn store kid’s tattoo?”

Lilah shrugged.  “Just makin’ conversation.”

“You wouldn’t rather work on that list of things you wanna know?”  He offered, viewing this much as he would splinter removal.  Pulling it wasn’t going to be much fun, but it was going to fester if he didn’t.

“I dunno that there’s much point in it,” she demurred.  “Knowin’ when and why you stopped usin’ endearments with me isn’t gonna change it.  Just like talkin’ about your former tour life isn’t gonna stop you from goin’ again.”

What the hell was he supposed to say to that?  Because God knew he didn’t want to delve into either of those, but there was that whole splinter thing.  If they didn’t do it now now, there was every chance in the world that they would still talk about it later – after it blew up in a festered mess.

“You said you remembered the first time I called you ‘baby’,” he coaxed.  “When was it?”

Her mouth curved upward in a melancholy smile.  “Dublin.  Our first dinner date.  You remember that pub?”

“The Brazen Head,” he supplied. 

“Right.”  She nodded, reminiscing, “You wouldn’t quit callin’ me Bluegrass, so I said I was gonna call you Jersey. Next thing outta your mouth was, ‘I’ve been called worse than that, baby.’ You just tacked that on the end like it was the most natural thing in the world, and it had me shiverin’.”

“That’s not what I remember about that night,” Tony revealed, when her recollection stirred up his own set of memories.  “What I remember is the way you were so vocal about enjoying your food and that damn cheesecake.  I just knew my dick was gonna bust out of my pants if you didn’t stop moaning like you were about to have an orgasm.”

“It’s… been a long time since those days.”

He lifted a hand and extended it to brush the hair back from her cheek. “It hasn’t been that long.”

“Feels like it.”  Her tone was somewhat distant, but she leaned into his touch and he stroked his thumb along her cheek.  “Do you know much I hate the thought of you goin’ on tour?”

No, but he had a feeling he was about to find out, and he had to find a way of limiting this to pertinent details.  If he didn’t, there was a better than average chance of it becoming a Tony bashing session.

“Is there something specific?”

“Mm.”  She reached up to catch his hand and hold it in hers, lacing their fingers together on the console between them.  “Mostly that I can’t go.”

Considering the end of his last tour and how they’d met, Tony had expected this was going to crop up at some point.  Too bad he didn’t use that foresight to have an appropriate response for when it did.

“I-“

“Don’t,” she requested quietly.  “Don’t tell me that it’s tedious and tiring, or that you’ll be working all the time, because I know exactly how it is.  I was there and my memories of that time…  Well, they’re the best I could ever hope to have.”

“Those are good memories for me, too, but it isn’t going to be like it was then,” he tried to tell her.  “Hell, the band isn’t like it was then.  I’m not sure you’d even enjoy the shows.”

“Mm.”

Tony sighed.  Despite the financial freedom it represented, it wasn’t like he was overjoyed about this excursion in the first place.  Nor was he suffering amnesia.  He remembered how much better her presence had made life on the road.  Whether it would still be that way…  Well, they’d never know.  It just wasn’t feasible with two small children.

“Listen, since all this just happened, I have no idea what the schedule looks like.  He usually starts in the States for a while, so I’ll be home pretty regularly at first.  He also has a thing for Europe in June, which means we can see about you bringing the kids over for their birthdays.   Maybe even work out some time where they stay with grandparents and you come by yourself.  We’ll make it work.”

Lilah looked at him, forcing a smile and speaking confidently.  “I’m sure we will.  You do what you need to do and I’ll do what I have to do.  When all is said and done, it’ll be fine.  My pity party’s over.  Dorothea has survived, and I will too.”

“I never questioned that for a minute.”

That wasn’t just a line, either.  Lilah could do anything she set her mind to.  After all, she’d defied any and all opposition to come trail around Europe in hopes of getting to talk to him, hadn’t she?

“But let me tell you somethin’.”  Her eyes went hard, and her fingers tore away from his so that she could plant one of them in the center of his chest.  “There are areas in which I’m nothing like Dorothea.  Yeah, my self-respect can be sketchy at times, but there is one definitive line.  If I get the first inklin’ that you’re leavin’ your weddin’ ring in the room – or wearin’ it for that matter – while you screw around out there, you will come home to an empty house.  Are we perfectly clear on that?”

Oh hell, no.  He was not going to be scolded for something she thought he might do.

“Don’t act like I’ve given you a reason to question my fidelity.”

Her eyes shot daggers at him.  “’We need a break from each other’ ringin’ any bells?  And how the hell am I supposed to know what prompted the decision to go, seein’ as you didn’t bother to discuss the first word of it with me?  For all I know you’re takin’ advantage of another opportunity for no strings sex.”

She was throwing their original arrangement up in his face.  Enjoy their time together while it lasted and go their separate ways.  It had been a great plan until they fell in love.

“Alright, listen up and listen good because I’m not going to spend the next year battling your vivid imagination.”  Tony captured her chin between his thumb and forefinger, leaving her unable to look away.  “I am fifty fucking years old, not twenty.  I am a man who respects the commitments he’s made and the woman he’s made them to.  As long as you and I are married, there will be no other women.  Are we clear on that?”

She tried to dip her chin with a nod, but he still held it firmly in place so she simply said, “Yes.”

Not good enough.  He wouldn’t tolerate this bullshit becoming a recurring theme. 

“No, I mean really fucking clear, because I am not having this conversation again.  You don’t get to ask pointed questions once a week trying to get me to confirm my faithfulness.  This is it.”

“Alright, then.”  New resolve infused her eyes.  “If this is it, then I deserve it all.  Tell me.”

He released her chin with a sigh of disgust, and got up in her face until they were nose-to-nose.  “What do you want me to tell you?” he mimicked her words from the night before.  “That you’re mine?  You goddamn well are.  That I’m yours?  I am.  That I love you?  I do, even though you make me friggin' nuts.”

“Well, you make me friggin' nuts, too,” she fired back, and then lowered her voice.  “But nuts with you is still better than anything else I’ve ever known.”

“Then fuckin’ well say it.” He deserved it as much as she did.

“You’re an ass, you know that?”  Coming from most people that would be an insult.  Lilah, though, spoke it as though it was an endearment.  Her head angled slightly so that their lips brushed together when she added, “But you’re my ass and I love you.”

Damn right.

11. Nights on the Couch

After dirtying up that which was clean, Lilah took out her ponytail and put on some light makeup while he got re-dressed so that they could go downstairs for breakfast - and a smoke for Tony.  They ate and talked about nothing in particular, but determined that they’d like the rest of the day to be more like vacation – light and easy.

She said she didn't care what they did, that it was up to him, and he deferred back to her.  It went that way a couple of times before Tony put a stop to it, asserting that they were going to follow up on her suggestion from the night before and go to "sex shopping".  He figured it would be good for a couple of laughs if nothing else. 

Only now that they were actually in the parking lot…

“This was a much better idea in theory,” his wife backpedaled upon seeing some of the shop’s clientele go in and out.  “I think I changed my mind.” 

Tony followed her frozen line of sight and laughed out loud.  He didn’t know what she was worried about.  The guy in the orange leisure suit might look a little sketchy, but the lesbians with the Mohawks seemed perfectly safe. 

“Stop laughin’ at me!” she ordered with a quick poke at his leg. 

“Well, Jesus, Filthy Freda,” was his chuckled reply.  “Their minds are probably cleaner than yours.  The store sure as hell looks to be.” 

The place wasn’t anything resembling the seedy images usually associated with the idea of a porn shop.  The Déjà vu Adult Emporium and Arcade looked more like a mall store than a sex supermarket.

“Filthy Freda?” She narrowed her eyes at him.  “Did you really just call me that?”

His hands went helplessly in the air, as his phone chimed with a text message.  “Hey, if the filth fits…”

“Most men would be happy to have an open minded woman at their disposal,” Lilah huffed playfully, giving him that lifted eyebrow thing she always accused him of doing.  “And keep that open-mindedness to themselves.  But not you.  Noooo…  My husband has to give me grief.  I might reconsider my stance, ya know.”

Fishing his phone out, Tony assured her, “No you won’t.  It fascinates you too much, just like this place does.”

“And exactly how do you know this?  I haven’t said squat other than I’d do whatever you wanted.”

“You’re cute, ya know that?” he asked, patting her cheek patronizingly with one hand and swiping his phone screen with the other.  “Bein’ all indignant and shit, when you and I both know you wouldn’t have fucking offered it up if you weren’t intrigued.”

[11:47AM]MATT:  How’s it going?

Her mouth twisted into a disgruntled knot.  “There are times when you can know somebody too well.  You’d do well to remember that.”

“Yes, dear.”  Tony tapped for the camera on his phone and snapped a quick picture of the store in front of them. 

“What are you doin’?”

A couple of further swipes and taps had the picture on its way to his baby brother in Jersey.  “Sending a pic to Matt.”

“How come?” 

The response from back home was almost immediate.  

[11:49 AM]MATT:  Cool.  Pick me up a cock ring.

“He likes that kinda thing,” Tony snorted, flipping his phone around to show her.  “See?”

Her eyes rolled so far back in her head, he wondered if she’d ever get them straightened out again.  “Oh for God’s sake.”

“Stop acting like you’re a prude,” he chastised, still laughing.  “I know damn well you have a vibrator.  Didn’t you go someplace to pick it out?”

“No.  Online shopping and delivery in a discreet package.”

He studied her speculatively.  “Is that what you’re doin’ while the kids watch cartoons?  Ordering vibrators?”

“When I’m not watching porn.”

She so casually and matter-of-factly, that Tony was momentarily dumbfounded, thinking that he had to have misunderstood.  His wife liked sex well enough, but she didn’t even like to acknowledge that she had a pussy outside the bedroom.  There was no way she was leisurely watching porn in the family room every evening.  Was there?

“You’re kidding me, right?”

Lilah’s straight face fractured into a million delighted pieces when she giggled, “Yeah. Sort of.”

Sort of? 

His little Filthy Freda didn’t know it yet, but they were going to sit right here and explore that little conversational gem in the fullest possible detail.  And if she happened to try pulling out the prude card…   Then he’d simply explain that her only other option was door number two – going inside the store with the mission of critiquing every dildo in the place.

Yeah, that pretty much guaranteed they were talking about it, and he was looking forward to it with great anticipation.  This had the potential to be way too interesting.

He dropped the phone into the console, turned in the seat, and draped an arm over the steering wheel to give her his undivided attention.  “What the fuck is ‘sort of’?”

Although her smile hung in there, her face and neck now flooded until both were mottled with vibrant pink splotches.  That little telltale sign had just effectively removed the option of door number two.  In fact, it slammed the damn thing shut and slapped a padlock on it.  This was going to be good, and he wanted to hear it.  No compromises.

“Well, are we goin’ in or not?” she asked cheerily and reached for the door handle.

“Don’t even try it,” he warned in a barely veiled threat. “It won’t be hard to embarrass you in front of a porn store, and I will not hesitate to do it.  Spill, Bluegrass.”

“Oh for pity’s sake!” The hand that had been in the midst of executing an escape fell limply to her lap with a grumpy little huff. “I watch it once in a while.”

“How often is ‘once in a while’?”

“Does it really matter?”

“Oh, it does.  It really does.”

His wife chewed on the corner of her lip and sighed.  “I dunno.  It varies.”

“Jesus Christ, Lilah,” he exclaimed in exasperation.  What had begun as intrigued curiosity was rapidly shifting toward annoyance as she dragged this out.  “Just tell me!”

“A couple times a week!” she snapped back at him.  “More or less.  Are you happy now?”

No.  Actually, he wasn’t.  Because that translated into…

“So let me get this straight.”  He shifted in the seat so that he could get a good clear look at her face when he laid out his interpretation.  “Twice a week you pop a Disney movie on TV for the kids, so they’re happily oblivious to everything.  You dial up porn dot com on your laptop, watch people fuck, and do a little covert couch humping to get yourself off.  In the meantime, months go by without us having sex even once.  Do you see something wrong with this picture?”

Because he definitely did.  In fact, for each bullet point in that outline, Tony found himself getting a little more bent out of shape.  It had nothing to do with the kids.  He was confident that his babies were completely unaware of the situation, because Lilah would be vigilant about keeping it from them.  His beef was that she’d been vigilant about keeping it from him.

“You make it sound like I do it to avoid havin’ sex with you.”

His eyebrows shot up to his hairline.  “Yeah, that’s pretty much what I heard.”

“Then pick your ears, because that’s not what it is!”

Anger washed over him.  There weren’t many alternative interpretations to this scenario, but screaming that fact at her wasn’t going to help his anger or his injured ego.  His mind recognized that immediately, but if his mouth had a chance in hell of complying...  Tony closed his eyes and forced himself to breathe evenly for a slow count of five. 

She’s already defensive.  Yelling at her is only going to make it worse. 

It wasn’t much, but it afforded him the ability to then open his eyes and calmly request, “What is it then?”

Of course she didn’t answer the question.  That would’ve been too easy.  Instead, she did what she did best.

“I’d really rather not talk about this,” she deflected in place of a definitive answer.

He begrudgingly issued half a point in her favor.  For once, she’d admitted she didn’t want to talk instead of immediately shutting him out and changing the subject.  Right now, he wasn’t in a frame of mind to appreciate it as much as he probably should, but at least he recognized it.

“Too damn bad,” he told her flatly.   “Because, in case you missed the memo, this is part of what got us where we are.”

“It…”  One hand came up to rub the creases from her forehead, and her eyes briefly fell shut.  “I started to say it wasn’t, but maybe you’re right.” 

Oh, he was right.  Without a fucking doubt. 

Lilah let her head fall back to rest against the car’s seat, dully professing, “I do things that I’m not particularly proud of, and talkin’ about ‘em embarrasses me.  I figure you already think bad enough of me without givin’ you more fuel for the fire.”

Tony mentally declined the invitation to reassure her that he thought no such thing.  He remained stoically silent, banking on the fact that she’d eventually speak again just to fill the void.

“My… Ahem…  Humpin’ the couch, as you so eloquently put it, doesn’t require plannin’ and schedulin’.  It doesn’t depend on what kind of mood you’re in, whether I’ve showered that day, or if I have the energy to blow you.  It’s a tiny self-indulgence to get through the tediously exhaustin’ days.  That’s all.  There’s no reflection on you.  It’s just me bein’ selfish and lazy.”

“You got that right.”

She whipped her head around, her eyes round with surprise just before her lips flattened into a line.  The classic prequel to the Shield of Apathy.  “You gonna tell me you’re not locked up in that office, jackin’ off with your pasta sauce pimps?”

“Don’t,” he cautioned quietly.  “You don’t get to put up a wall this time, Lilah.  I’m the victim in this one.”

“I…”

“You what?” Tony pressed when she let that one word hang there, unaccompanied.  “You didn’t realize I might be offended you’d rather hump a couch than me?  Or that, if you’d made a little time to hump me instead of the couch, we might not have needed this trip to prevent a divorce?”

She took a moment before admitting, “Both.”

Her eyes reflected hurt and that pleased him in some sick way, because it meant she hadn’t put up the walls.  That was a victory in itself, and he wondered if they might actually manage to work through a problem.  That would be a new trick for them, so Tony strove to keep things unheated.

“I’m a guy,” he reminded her, hooking a finger under her chin when her gaze dropped.  “Guys enjoy porn, and I might like the chance to enjoy it with my wife.”

Her mind was working.  He could almost watch it happening.  She calculated whether or not he was pissed.  She weighed his sincerity.  She inspected her own actions for culpability.  She considered options for the future. 

“I might like that, too.”

Thank you, God!  They’d accomplished something without any silent treatments, slamming doors and threats.  Well, not many threats.

Tony leaned forward to touch his lips to hers, feeling inordinately optimistic.  “I eat better pussy than the couch, ya know.”

Her soft laugh warmed his face.  “Couches, chairs and the entire male population could all take lessons.  You are the master.”

The compliment was nice, but there were other thoughts vying for the forefront of his mind.  Thoughts that he wasn’t all that confident about expressing, because how bizarre was it that he was proud of them?

“Is it just me or was that another victory for ‘no bullshit’?” 

“I think it might’ve been,” was her thoughtful agreement.  

Honesty made things so goddamn much simpler.

Tell her about the house.

No.  Not now.  They’d waded through some of the shit that they'd let accumulate around them, and they deserved a break.  He wanted to take his faux-prude wife shopping for something that would cause her neck to break out in embarrassed blotches.

“So, it seems that I need to pick up a cock ring – or two.  Wanna go with me?” he invited with a smile.

“Sure.  If you tell me what a cock ring is.”

10. No BS

Returning from the bathroom, Tony found Lilah curled on her side, hair tousled across the pillow.  Her features were utterly relaxed as she lay there with her eyes closed, and he felt much the same way as he slid under the covers with her. 

“You’re back,” he marveled, heart filled to overflowing as he gathered her close.  “Jesus, I missed you.”

Her mouth lifted into a lazy smile, but she didn’t bother opening her eyes.  She just placed a palm out to gently stroke his chest.  “Enjoy it while it lasts.  I don’t know when you’ll see the hair and makeup thing again.”

“I don’t give a shit about hair and makeup.  Never did.”

Now her eyes popped open, and her relaxed features went perplexed.  “Then why the hell did I just spend an entire day and an obscene amount of money on a spa?” she demanded.

“To get your swagger back.”

The look on her face clearly stated that he was nuts.  “Excuse me?”

He’d gone uncounted days without touching her at all, yet now he couldn’t stop his hands from roaming her skin to explore every swell and valley.  The dip at her waist had its own little siren song that kept him going back to trace its curve.

“You remember when I was stupid enough to let you leave Lisbon without me?”

Her mouth pulled into an ugly frown.  “I wish I could forget.”

“You’re remembering the wrong part then,” he told her softly, his hand reluctantly abandoning womanly curves to erase the frown with a gentle swipe of his thumb.  “I told you not to let anybody take away your swagger.  But you let me do it anyway.”

Lilah’s eyes drifted downward. 

“Hey.”  Tony edged her chin back up so she looked at him.  “I want you to know how sorry I am.  I should’ve realized it was gone, but didn’t.  Not until I saw you with it again.”

“You-“

“Not done yet,” he shushed her.  “I’m sorry.  I’m also inexplicably grateful to have a second chance to get this right.  You, Lilah Jane Bennett Bongiovi, take my breath away when you’re like this.”

She wanted to believe that last sentence.  He knew it as well as he knew their kids’ names, but he could also see that she wasn’t going to let herself – because she couldn’t make her own sense of it.

“I’m still not seein’ how today me is any different than yesterday me, except for the length of my hair and a little eyeliner.”

“I still hate it when you play dumb,” he admonished.

“Honey, I’m not playin’.”

He gave her a sharp pinch to the ass.  “Look at me.  Eyes on mine.”

She pursed her lips with annoyance, but did as he asked. 

“Wanna know what I see?”

“You’re goin’ to an awful lot of effort to make a point, so sure.  What do you see?”

Her sassiness was kinda cute, but he didn’t laugh.  It was important to him that she understand he wasn’t being flippant or talking out his ass when telling her, “I see everything.  There’s hope, there’s annoyance, there’s a little bit of peace that wants to come out.  There’s you waiting to call bullshit on everything I’m saying.”

“I’d be disappointed if you couldn’t puzzle some of that out, considerin’ how long we’ve been together.”

“You didn’t let me finish.”

She sighed impatiently.  “You think you might get to the point then?”

Okay, so this Bluegrass wasn’t exactly the same as the one he’d first known.  Bluegrass had originally had been a little more deferential toward him since their relationship and marriage were new.  This one washed his dirty underwear and wasn’t quite as willing to hang on to his every word.

Tony was okay with that, and overlooked it in favor of something more important.

“Know what I saw yesterday and the day before and the day before that?”  He held up a hand when it appeared as though she was about to give him an argument.  “Rhetorical question.  I’m gonna tell you anyway.  I didn’t see shit.  You hid everything behind that damn wall you put up, and you completely shut the world out.  Today you shared yourself because you felt good about yourself.  That’s the point.”

“That’s only partially correct, but alright.”

“What’s not correct?”

She scooted over to put some space between them and pulled the sheet up to cover herself.  “You speak of that wall with such distaste, but you know very well why it goes up.”

Fan-freaking-tastic.  He was only trying to explain why he felt like she’d been missing like a dearly departed loved one, and now they were headed for a fight.

“Lilah, I’m not trying to start anything.  All I’m saying it that I’d rather see anger and indignation than that cold wall.  Stop shutting me out.”

She transferred her gaze from him to the artwork on the far wall.  “Stop hurtin’ me and I won’t have to.”

Well, if that didn’t cut like a knife, mostly for the fact that he had no rebuttal for it.   Guilty as charged and he knew it.  Worse than that, the potential for doing it again was hovering in the wings. 

“I have no desire to ever hurt you, and I’ll do my damnedest not to,” he promised quietly.  “But since I’m a mere man, it could still happen.  On the off chance it does, could you at least agree to talk to me about it instead of shutting down?  I can handle a screaming wife better than an emotionless one.”

Her eyes slid back from the nondescript décor to him, and she took a slow survey of his features.  Aqua eyes scrutinized his, meticulously searching for… something. 

Tony felt like he was on trial, but in this case he had nothing to hide, so he didn’t look away.  He freely allowed her to do that thing he’d always mentally classified as looking into his soul.

Whatever she found must have satisfied her, because she dipped her chin in assent.  “I’ll try.”

What else could he ask for?

“C’mere,” he invited her scoot into the circle of his arms.  As his arms closed around her, Tony slid a leg between hers and kicked his foot back so that it hooked around her ankle, effectively knotting them together. 

Comfortable and more content than he’d been in a very long time, Tony would’ve been happy to lie there in silence and fall asleep with her tucked close.  He could tell, however, from the rigid set of her spine that Lilah’s mind was stewing over something and wasn’t going to allow her the same contentment.

“What’s going on in there?” he murmured, with a slight tap to the back of her head. 

“Mm.  Lots.”

It didn’t take a mind reader to know that.  “You gonna tell me, or what?”

“Nothin’ of much importance.”  An open palm skimmed languidly over the plane of his chest.  “Just wonderin’ why it’s so difficult for us to talk anymore.  Used to be that you spoke your mind and I spoke my mind.  Any differences, we sorted ‘em out and moved on.”

That’s exactly how it used to be, and they’d never had to wonder and make unfounded assumptions about the other.  It was a lot like the carefree days of his youth. 

She craned her neck to look at him.  “Tell me again why we quit doin’ that?”

“You said I stopped listening to you,” he reminded her.  “For my part, I think there weren’t enough hours in the day the first couple of years with the kids. Then when there was more time, it didn’t feel natural anymore.  It was an effort that didn’t always end well.”

“Hm.”  She nestled her head into the crook of his shoulder.  “Seems like we oughta get back to it.  The original ‘no bullshit’ clause in our contract.”

“Probably be a good idea.”

She nodded against him, and finally relaxed in his embrace.  “G’night, Jersey.”

“Night, Bluegrass.”

###

Tony was comfortable.  He was relaxed.  He was… cold.

The blankets were thick enough, but he still had a chill that wouldn’t go away.  Eyes still closed, Tony scooted over in search of Lilah, who radiated heat like a camp stove in bed.  Not finding her on the first try, he scooted again.  And again.  Then he stuck out an exploratory hand.

Where the fuck is she this time? 

“Lilah!”

In a rerun of yesterday’s same scene, there was no answer.

They’d spent the better part of the night in each other’s arms.  She’d been there when he got up to pee at five o’clock.  It was now…

He rolled over to squint at the clock. 

It was now seven and his wife was MIA, so Tony grabbed his glasses and his phone.  There was a text from Jon, but he swiped it away to find out the secret location of his wife.

[8:11 AM]TONY:  Where the hell are you? 

He dropped the phone back on the bedside table and went to the bathroom while waiting for her reply.  What he came back to was:

[8:12 AM]LILAH: I’ll be up soon.

Why couldn’t she ever give him a response that addressed what he’d asked?

[8:13 AM]TONY: Didn’t answer my question.

[8:14 AM]LILAH:  You’d think getting laid would have given you a better disposition this morning.

Tony grudgingly snickered, his irritation tamed by her reply.  Amazing how she seemed funny today, when last week he would’ve thought her a bitch for that comment.  In truth, it was just Lilah, and he was pleased to find out that he could still like her.

[8:16 AM]TONY: But my dick didn’t get sucked.  Hurry up and I’ll let you take care of that.

[8:18 AM]LILAH:  I feel so privileged. :P

He just smirked and let that one pass, going back instead to check the message from his brother. 

[7:00 AM]JON: Been thinking about you the last couple days.  Sent you an email with one of the new songs.  Thought you two might appreciate it.

That was unexpected.  Tony usually got a copy of the album a day or two before release, but he couldn’t remember Jon ever sending him a specific track.  It made him curious about the song, but since his brother had said “you two”, Tony chose to wait for Lilah before seeking out his email.

[8:23 AM]TONY:  Things are getting better.  We’ll give it a listen.  Thx.

There was no point in waiting for a reply, because chances were that Jon wouldn’t send one.  He didn’t give a shit about text etiquette and neither did Tony, so he dropped his phone on the nightstand and headed for the shower. 

He had just put shampoo in his hair when Lilah stuck her head in the bathroom.  “I’m back.  I brought you coffee.”

“Perfect timing!” he hollered.  “I just washed my dick.  You wanna suck it now or when I get out?”

“I’m good out here!”

He grinned, ducking his head under the spray to rinse.  Another two minutes and he was reaching for a towel. 

“Where were you?” he called out to Lilah as ran the towel over his chest. 

She materialized in the bathroom door, holding a familiar paper cup.  “Uh, Starbucks?”

He didn’t have his glasses on, but could tell that she’d lived up to her comment from last night about the hair and makeup.  She was wearing contacts, but no makeup and a blingy Green Bay Packers cap sat atop her ponytail.  The yellow t-shirt she wore at least fit her curves, as did the same jeans from last night.  He couldn’t be sure, but he thought that might be the same shirt she was wearing the night he met her in Dublin. 

Like he’d told her last night, it really made no difference.  As long as she wasn’t wearing leggings and was feeling good about herself, he didn’t care.

“I thought maybe you’d decided to throw more money away in the slots,” he teased, tossing the towel aside and reaching for his clothes. 

He may not have twenty-twenty vision without his glasses, but he saw well enough to spot the smirk that creased her mouth.  It told him everything he needed to know before she confessed, “Maybe just a couple dollars.”

He zipped up his jeans with a rueful shake of his head and reached for his favorite Harley t-shirt.  “Just make sure you keep enough money to get us home, would ya?”

“Mm.”  Lilah lounged against the doorframe, crossing one arm over her waist while thoughtfully sipping coffee.  “Do you have a feel for how much that might be?”

After jerking the shirt on, Tony reached for his glasses.  He needed visual confirmation that she was yanking his chain, and her sparkling eyes gave him exactly what he’d been looking for.

“You’re so full of shit,” he chastised her.

“Perhaps.”  She grinned like the Cheshire cat.  “I put in a twenty and won fifty.”

“Seriously?”  Tony bent his head for a kiss as he squeezed by her in the doorway.  “I’m amazed.  That means you’re only down, what?  Half of the hundred you blew last night?”

“Okay, first of all, hush.  That was last night and this is today.  Clean slate and all that,” she informed him, trailing along to the bedroom.  “Besides, you know you’re impressed with my gamblin’ prowess, and you should be.  I’m so good at it, I think I may play slot machines for a livin’.”

“That will be the world’s shortest career,” he snorted, reaching for the coffee she’d left on the nightstand next to his phone.  “Oh, hey.  Jon sent one of the new songs for us to listen to.”

She hitched one eyebrow up with suspicion.  “Does it involve instructions for killin’ your wife?  Because your brother gave up any pretense of likin’ me a long while ago.”

Guilt stabbed at Tony.  That was his fault.  Him and his “venting”.  During the early years of his marriage, Jon and Lilah had actually found some comfortable footing with one another.  Then Lucas was born and yadda, yadda, yadda.  Hell in a handbasket and all that.

Even so, he didn’t feel right letting his brother hang. 

“That’s crap.  Before we left, he told me he hoped things worked out for us.”

“Uh, I thought we were invokin’ the ‘no bullshit’ thing?”  

She clearly assumed Tony was either making it up or playing peacemaker, so he looked her dead in the eye and pledged, “No bullshit.”

“Hm.  Maybe I’ll listen to his song then.”

Seating himself on the bed, he patted the spot next to him.  “Stop being a bitch and sit down here with me.”

She blew him a half-hearted raspberry, but complied without any more fuss than that.  “Have you heard it yet?”

“Nope.  All I know is that he said he’d been thinking about us and thought we’d appreciate this.”

Locating his email app, he scrolled until he found what he was looking for.  A quick tap had it open and Tony saw that, in typical Jon fashion, there were no introductory words.  It was literally nothing more than the song attachment. 

Another tap initiated the music player, and he adjusted the volume accordingly. 

I see you thinking twice

Wish I could read your mind

Move up or out of line

Too late for praying

I know we might lose our breath

We might be scared to death

This chance is like a step

Just got to take it

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh

Countdown to here we go oh oh oh oh oh oh

Hold on tight, slide a little closer

Up so high stars are on our shoulders

Time flies by, don't close your eyes

Kiss by kiss love is like a thrill ride

What goes up might take us upside down

Life ain't a merry go round

It's a roller coaster

It's a roller coaster

Can't lie and won't pretend

I know what's round the bend

Too late to start again

Won't take it slower

Let's slip right off these tracks

We'll fly or we might crash

Don't look down, don't look back

Cause it ain't over

Hold on tight, slide a little closer

Up so high stars are on our shoulders

Time flies by, don't close your eyes

Kiss by kiss love is like a thrill ride

What goes up might take us upside down

Life ain't a merry go round

It's a roller coaster

It's a roller coaster

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh

Countdown to here we go oh oh oh oh oh oh

Hold on tight, slide a little closer

Up so high stars are on our shoulders

It's a roller coaster

Kiss by kiss love is like a thrill ride

What goes up might take us upside down

Life ain't a merry go round

It's a roller coaster

It's a roller coaster

Roller coaster

It's a roller coaster

The last chorus was still playing when he fixed Lilah with a reproving look.  “Still think he hates you?”

“Doesn’t matter if he does or if he doesn’t,” she deflected, unknowingly echoing Jon’s very words.  “You’re the only Bongiovi brother whose opinion ever mattered to me.  I like the song, though.”

“Get the feeling he’s telling us to get our shit together?”

She shook her head in disbelief.  “As strange as that seems, maybe.”

It was strange and it wasn’t.  Jon didn’t like it when his family wasn’t settled.  For that matter, neither did Tony.

“Hey.”  He tossed his phone to the side and turned toward her, leaning on one arm to ask a question that he was pretty sure he already knew the answer to.  “Does my opinion still matter?”

“You know it does or I wouldn’t be here.”

“Well, you know,” he confided conspiratorially.  “There is one way to ensure my opinion is a good one.”

“Let me guess.  It involves your clean dick?”

Tony’s grin went a mile wide, her laughter making him happy. 

“Not only are you a pretty face, you’re pretty damn smart, too…”

9. Foreplay

“So you wanna walk across the street and check out New York-New York?” Tony asked Lilah, lightly looping his arm around her shoulders as they left the restaurant.

Dinner had been incredibly pleasant. 

Lilah’s proposition had left them studying one another with a barely banked heat for an what felt like an eternity.  While he didn’t know exactly what had been spinning around in that mind of hers, the high color in her cheeks had him wagering that it was pretty similar to what was spinning around his. 

It had involved both the words dirty and filthy. 

“I know it seems to be kind of an extreme and sudden jump from last night to tonight,” she'd finally broke the silence, and shifted her focus to a point beyond his left shoulder. 

“Don’t.”  His gut had known exactly what she was going to say and he hadn't wanted her to.  “I know this three-sixty isn’t because you’re a pushover or agreeing to shoulder all the blame for where we are.  Nothing is further from the truth, and I’m as happy as you are to focus on the future instead of the past.”

Her eyes had found his again, but this time they'd been riddled with shadows.  “Eventually, we’ll have to revisit the past if we plan on gettin’ to the future.”

“I know,” he'd assured her solemnly.

“We’re on the same page, then.”  Lilah had slid her hand across the table to wrap around his with a warm squeeze, and conjured a smile to chase away the shadows in her eyes.   “Tell me about Las Vegas.  I assume you’ve been here more times than you can count.”

Tony had followed her lead with great relief, readily offering his personal take on Sin City.  During dinner, they'd come up with a short list of touristy things to do while they were in town.  He’d always wanted to see the Mob Museum, and she thought she might like to go to a show.  Lilah had also expressed interest in a simple walk-through of the different casinos, since they each possessed a different kind of grandiosity that had to be seen to be believed.

Hence, his current offer to take her to the casino across the street. 

“I’m torn,” she sighed.  “Yes, I want to see it.  If you go with me, I might even want to ride that rollercoaster that flies from the top of the buildin’ down through the casino.”

“So that’s a yes?”

“But I’m not sure I want to be that far from our room,” she continued, ignoring his interruption of her weighing pros and cons.  “I’m already startin’ to get a little squirmy, and you’ve barely touched me.”

An arrogant smirk creased Tony’s face. 

The other thing that he liked about her drinking was the way her tongue loosened.  She’d been known to blurt out more uncensored thoughts under the influence of alcohol than at any other time.  He knew precisely where he stood with her when she was a little tipsy. 

Of course, the reverse was true, too.  Whiskey, bourbon and Bluegrass – which actually sounded like the title of a bad country song – had relaxed him considerably.  Alcoholic relaxation typically resulted in far less interest in censoring his words, so who knew what the two of them were going to come up with?

Tony placed his lips close to her ear to softly share one of those uncensored thoughts.  “You say the word and I’ll fuck you anywhere you stand.”

“Great.  Now my panties are wet.”

He threw back his head with an animated laugh and decided that, if he destroyed her liver, they’d get her a transplant.  This Lilah was too good to keep wrapped up in sobriety. 

“Bluegrass, you’re one of a kind.”

She smiled, agreeably strolling along with him even when they followed the signs that guided them to New York-New York.  “You’ve called me that more tonight than you have in the last year.”

“Have I?” 

He knew very well he had, and couldn’t have stopped it from happening if he cared to.  Quite simply, that’s who she was tonight, and the old nickname rolled off his tongue without thought.

“Mhm.”  She leaned into him as they walked, her arm sliding around his waist.  “It’s the oddest thing.”

“What?”

“If I heard one of your friends spoutin’ somethin’ like what you just whispered in my ear, I would cringe and think them slimy and disgustin’.”

“One of my friends says somethin’ like that to you, he’ll get knocked on his ass.”

She swung her hip and bumped him in reprimand.  “Your friends have been nothin’ but polite to me.  The point was, the very thing that makes me squirmy comin’ from you is just nasty when somebody else says it.”

 “Nobody nastier than a Jersey boy,” he stated confidently.  “You just happen to have a tolerance for this one.”

Sometimes, anyway.

“Mm.” 

The abbreviated answer made him suspect she had the same thought cross her mind, but maybe he was a little paranoid.  She might very well just be distracted, since she was looking every which way around them. 

They were about halfway across the catwalk connecting their hotel with New York-New York, and that placed them directly above the center of Las Vegas Boulevard.  Activity buzzed all around them – in front, behind, around, below.  It didn’t matter that it wasn’t the weekend, the Strip was hopping with drinking, sightseeing tourists. 

Lilah pulled to a stop, turning toward the north end of Las Vegas’s most famous street, and dragging Tony along with her. 

“Look at that Jersey.”  Her voice was filled with the same joy as M.J.’s when they'd brought Jinx home from the pound.  “All those colorful neon lights.  All those people down there havin’ a good time.  How can anybody keep from smilin’?”

He cinched his arm around her waist and squeezed.  “By dropping a couple grand in the casino.  Guaranteed smile killer.”

She peered up at him with a frown.  “Think you could keep from pissin’ on my parade for a minute or two?”

Lilah wasn’t mad at him, just ruffled, and he liked the way it looked on her.  Her nose and forehead wrinkled with pique while the wind had its way with her carefully styled hair, and her mouth…  It was perfectly puckered for kissing.

Unable to resist the temptation, Tony dipped his head and touched his lips to hers.  Lightly at first, until her soft sigh of acceptance found its way to him.  Then the arm around her waist tightened, while his other hand came up to cradle her neck.  That sigh had offered him the smallest possible invitation to slip his tongue inside her mouth, and he wasted no time in submitting his RSVP. 

As kisses went, it wasn’t particularly long, deep or passionate.  His tongue barely swept inside before it was back out and he was brushing her lips with a light follow-up kiss.  It hadn’t been his intention to have a hot and heavy make out session over the Strip.  Tony simply hadn’t stifled his impulse to kiss her - so she’d know he wanted to. 

The fact that her eyes were a little glazed afterward was just a bonus.

“How’s that foreplay workin’ for ya?” he murmured. 

Lilah’s knockout smile was upstaged by the heat burning the glaze from her eyes.  “Pretty damn good so far.”

He didn’t have any complaints himself.

“C’mon.  Let’s get outta the wind.”

She latched happily onto his arm, and they completed the trek that would take them inside the casino built to resemble New York City. 

The next couple of hours legitimately ranked among the best and worst of his life. 

Best, because he’d forgotten how much he could enjoy just being with her.  He was wickedly incorrigible in his behavior and she pretended to be mortified.  Truth was, he could see the pleasure in her eyes when he’d pat her ass, slip his hand between her legs or nip at her neck– and she wasn’t the only one pleased.  It had been so long since she’d appreciated that kind of attention from him, his ego had gotten anemic.  He was finding out that he needed this from her as much as she needed it from him. 

On the flip side, it registered as some of the worst hours of his life because he’d never been into delayed gratification, and his balls were turning painfully blue. 

“Jersey.”  They stood beside her most recent choice of slot machine, having deposited twenty dollars with no return.  He had assumed they were headed for the next one, but he quickly discovered that Lilah had a slightly different idea.  With a slow, lazy slide of her hand up the front of his shirt, she quietly announced, “It’s time.”

Hallelujah.

In an effort to show a little restraint, Tony didn’t immediately drag her from the casino floor and race for their room.  Still feeding the foreplay monster, he mischievously reached for his zipper as if ready to make good on his “right where you stand” promise.  He wasn’t able to get his hand close to his pants before Lilah intercepted and captured that hand inside hers. 

“I’m serious,” she whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his jaw.  “I want you.  Now.”

Oh, the power in those three words.  The evening of extended foreplay was about to draw to a close, and took with it any inclination he had to be teasing or playful.  The moment they’d slowly been inching their way toward had arrived, and Tony was serious as a judge when he stroked a thumb over her cheekbone to say, “Not as much as I want you.”

“Why are we still standin’ here, then?”

She didn’t need to ask twice.  He flipped his wrist so that he was holding her hand, instead of the other way around, and navigated the most direct path from where they were to where they wanted to be.  Where he wanted to be.

“Jersey?”  The elevator doors had closed, somehow finding them alone on their trip to the fifteenth floor, and Lilah pressed into him until his back was against the car wall.  She then crept a hand down the front of his zipper and cupped him with an easy squeeze. 

Respond, dumbass.  Act like you have a little blood still circulating north of your belt.

“Hmm?”

She nuzzled into the crook of his neck, softly kissing the flesh there.  “What do you want tonight?  What can I be for you?”

What did he want?  Hell, he wanted tonight to be two weeks long, but more than that…

Tony pushed his hands into Lilah’s hair and tilted her head so that he could look at her.  She was beautiful when she wasn’t hiding herself away from the world, and what he wanted was her, like this, always. He couldn’t imagine anything that would satisfy him more. 

“Just be Bluegrass.”

She levered up on tiptoe and touched her lips to his with a quiet, “I think I can do that.”

The elevator doors glided apart with a chime, and they silently exited toward their room, arms around one another.  Tony released her and extracted his room key when they reached the right door.  A quick slide in and out had the lock released, and he held the door to usher her inside.

Turning away from her only long enough to hang out the “Do Not Disturb” sign, he spun back around to find Lilah watching him from beneath hooded lids. 

In an instant he recognized that she had closed herself off, leaving him unable to decipher what was going on in her head.  Whatever it was couldn’t be good, since he’d expected her to be climbing him like a jungle gym after her actions in the casino and the elevator, and she was just standing there.  He worried she was thinking too much, analyzing too much.  He worried that what they’d been building toward all night was going to end up being something vastly different.

“It’s kinda awkward, isn’t it?” she finally gave voice to her thoughts.  “Trying to be who we were instead of who we became.”

“No,” Tony responded with the shake shake of his head, stepping close to slip his arms around her. “I don’t think it’s awkward at all.”

He ducked down to take her lips before she could speak further.  His tongue drove inside her mouth, fully intending this kiss to be exactly what the one over the Strip hadn’t been – long, deep and passionate.  There had been a time when she had loved nothing more than to kiss him because she said it made her giddy.  Tony’s ego needed to know he could still do that.

It took a minute before she let herself stop over analyzing the status of their relationship and whether they were handling it the right way, but it did finally happen.  He actually felt her surrender the cerebral for the physical, and relaxed with the reassurance that she wouldn’t allow her thoughts to sabotage them.  When she moaned and lifted her arms to twine around his neck, Tony gave himself permission to stop thinking, too, and just feel.

The way she responded to his kiss was erotic as hell, giving his ego the stroke it had been looking for and adding a whole new level to her squirminess.   She shimmied against him like a professional belly dancer, her hips seductively rocking back and forth.  With each pass, the softness of her tummy pressed closer to his dick, while the softness of her breasts pillowed into his chest.  Every swish of her hips brought them incrementally closer, until she was reduced to a sexy bump and grind while she performed a different dance of erotica on his mouth.

“You’re still the best kisser I ever knew,” she purred against his mouth, breath cool in comparison to her kisses.  “Kissin’ comes second only to your other oral talents.”

Tony pushed his hands under the hem of her blouse, stripping it from her in a single smooth motion.  “That means we’re both gonna be happy to have my face buried in your pussy,” he rasped, fumbling for the button on her jeans.  A flick of his thumb and forefinger had it open and her zipper followed close behind.

“I never met a man as enthusiastic about doin’ that as you are.”  She bent to pull at her boots, then wriggled out of the jeans, kicking them to the side.

Tony had never been the guy who was squeamish or reserved about oral sex.  He definitely wasn’t one of those pansy-ass guys who went down on a woman out of a sense of obligation, opening her wide with his fingers to put only the tip of his tongue against her clit.  Those guys were afraid they might get a little taste in their mouth.

He had become obsessed with that taste from the first time he’d been invited between a woman’s legs, and Lilah was sweeter than most.  He loved nothing more than having his face buried deep in her pussy.  He would eat, lick and suck until she came apart at the seams and coated his tongue with the flavor of her orgasm. 

Then he’d start all over again.

Just thinking about it made his jeans unbearably tight, and he shucked out of them while he still could, dropping his boxers and shirt on top of them in the floor. 

“Get on the bed and spread your legs.  I need to eat you.”

Her tongue darted out, licking her lips for a quick instant before obeying him.

“Panties,” He took deliberate steps to the edge of the mattress and pointed to the blush pink scrap of laciness that she still wore.  It matched the bra that helped showcase her impressive cleavage tonight, but the bra wasn’t in his way.  The panties were.  “If you wanna wear ‘em again, you better take ‘em off.”

Tony had no idea what she’d done at that spa, but he had a feeling she’d taken advantage of everything they had to offer. Even knowing it was impossible, he’d swear to God she was thinner and firmer than she’d been that morning, and, when she kicked the endangered panties to the side, he discovered another service she’d received. 

Her pussy was as bare and slick as a baby’s butt, except for a tiny triangle of fluff.  It wasn't much bigger than a silver dollar and nestled between the top of her cleft and the little Fate tattoo.

“Well, hello there,” he rumbled appreciatively, reaching to slide a finger between smooth lips, then plunging inside for a single stroke.  It was no wonder her panties had been wet.  There was no buffer of curls between them and her arousal.  “That must’ve hurt like a bitch.”

“Mm.”  She was scooted back against the pillows, and spread wide with invitation.  “Kiss it better.”

Tony planted a knee in the mattress and happily crawled toward the Promised Land. 

Dipping his head low without touching her, he inhaled deeply of the musk that was unique to his wife.  He loved the anticipation of that first taste.  As many times as he’d done this, he should be used to it by now, but it was the same every time.  No matter how delectable his memory promised it to be, reality was always infinitely better.

He anchored her tightly by locking his arms around her thighs as he used his shoulders to spread them wider, and that gave him complete access to...everything.  Her heels bumped against his shoulder blades as he jockeyed for better position, but the touch barely registered.  There was no hiding from him now, and he unabashedly buffed his mouth back and forth over the newly bare skin, taking a moment to savor the novelty of her naked lips against his.

That satiny softness gliding over his face was nothing short of bewitching and, given half a chance, he could spend hours doing nothing but this.  If there wasn’t something even more enticing on the horizon, whose lure was too great to resist.    

Tony led with his nose and abruptly dove deep into her wet heat, his lusty groan all but consumed by the fragrant flesh.  Incited, he burrowed deeper, slowly shaking his head in an effort to simultaneously devour her and bathe himself in her scent. 

“Oh, God, Jersey!  Jesus Christ!” 

Her cries only made him more ravenous.

Using the flat of his tongue, he sought to thoroughly mop each millimeter of sensitive flesh.  Her hips bucked lightly with appreciation, and he slathered her again, following up with a light nip to her clit.  It had her rearing again, and he took advantage of the motion to plunge deeper.  He tried his damnedest to become asphyxiated by the aphrodisiac she persistently force-fed him until she was shamelessly humping his face. 

Another nip to her clit was a gentle reprimand to remind her who was in charge.

She settled a bit, but stroked restless hands through his hair as she mewled with carnal greed.   He took his own sweet time, relishing the erotic soundtrack as he scraped his facial hair gently down the inside of her thigh.  Her knees inched together in an effort to bring him front and center again, but he muscled them away and continue his leisurely journey.  Whisker burn would eventually redden the fine flesh, but for now it was lily white as he scrubbed back up the opposite leg and returned to her deprived pussy.   

Target in sight, he angled his head to the side, very slowly and deliberately assaulting the rigid bump that throbbed its need against the tip of his tongue.  He skirted the edges, teasing her with the promise of more, but never quite delivering.  The provocative torment had her writhing in such a way that he was once again forced to anchor her firmly to the bed.

“Stop teasin’,” she begged.  “Put your face in there and make me cum!”

Since she asked so nicely, he decided to show mercy.  With a lone fortifying breath, he ruthlessly sucked in her clit and all the surrounding flesh.  His tongue swirled, lapped and laved as he gorged himself on the succulent delicacy spread before him.

“Yes, please.  Oh, fuck! Nobody can do that like you!”

“Goddamn right,” he growled, drinking in the flood that his lewd kisses had prompted.  She smelled and tasted like the best sex he’d ever had, but he delved lower in search of a more elusive flavor, channeling his tongue inside her.  That was where the good stuff was.  When she’d had enough, then too much, she would give him the sweet, sticky cream that was hidden deep inside. 

That’s what he wanted, but he couldn’t make himself stay there and wait for it.  He had to slide his tongue from bottom to top, then suck her plump lips inside his, then nibble her clit.  He gobbled her up, down, around – deep, shallow and everywhere in between while blissfully suffocating in the fragrance he’d been known to dream about.

“I’m gonna-  Ohhhh!  Oh Godddddd!”

He met her thrusts, held her close and wouldn’t let her escape him, even when she pushed at his shoulders. He was after that exotic cream.  He’d earned it, and he wanted it.  All of it.

“Too much, too much,” she whimpered, still pushing at him, but with less determination. Her body was spent from the force of her climax and went slowly lax beneath him.

Satisfied that she’d given all she had to give, Tony released his stronghold grip and slowly slithered up her length until he loomed over her.  Only inches separated their faces.

“Now comes the dirty part,” he warned softly, his head slowly descending.  Lilah had always been hesitant about kissing him when his lips were still shiny with her taste, but tonight he wanted to share it with her.  “Kiss me, Bluegrass.  See why I crave your sweet cunt.”

“I-“

“Kiss me,” he breathed as their mouths came in contact.  Lilah didn’t try and pull away, but she didn’t do more than allow their lips to be pressed together.  “Let me in.”

It was only a sliver, but that’s all the acquiescence he needed.  Tony filled her with his tongue, devouring her mouth much as he had her pussy.  He scoured his lips over hers, marking them the same whisker burn as her inner thighs until there was no distinguishing his taste from hers.  

“Well?”

She smiled softly and swiped a thumb along the edge of his bottom lip.  “I’ve never appreciated that particular ‘c’ word, but comin’ from a nasty Jersey boy with such a talented tongue, I’m gonna take it as the highest compliment.”

“As it was intended, but I’m talking about the toe you just stuck in the filthy dirty pool.”

“Mmm.”  Her fingers combed lazily through the dense forest of hair on his chest.  “I am very, very, VERY happy that you’re partial to offerin’ oral pleasure, but there’s no fear of me becomin’ a lesbian.”

“Thank God for that, since I like you suckin’ my dick,” he chuckled.  “But not tonight.  I can’t wait any longer."

Tony reached off the edge of the bed for the nightstand drawer, where he’d stashed a supply of rubbers today.  He quickly plucked one up and tore it open, wasting no time in suiting up.  They’d already had one lapse in birth control this week, and considering both kids – all three – had come from a one-time slip, he wasn’t taking any more chances.

He turned back to find her intently watching him.  Soft, sultry eyes surveyed his progress, and he noted that her legs were still parted, awaiting his return.  The physical proof of her desire was unmistakable, but he wanted to hear it.

“Tell me.”

“Tell you what?” she asked.  “That I want you?  I do.  That I dream about this even when I’m too tired to do it?  I do.  That I’ve never once thought of sex with another man since you made me yours?  I haven’t.  Maybe all that makes me a fool, but it’s true.”

It wasn’t what he’d been expecting, and Tony had no response that would suffice.  All he could do was plunge deep, connecting their bodies in a way he wished their minds still did.  All he could do was push to try and replace old pain with new pleasure. He kissed her. He whispered things that he didn’t understand himself. 

He lost himself in the woman he’d presumed lost.